am I giving up blogging?

I feel like writng today. I haven’t uploaded in what feels lke a year and that’s okay. I got a real job which I love doing! Since this blog was foccused on studying and improving my writing skills, it just doesn’t make that much sense anymore. I dropped out of uni and started working full time. So, giving tips on how to study would just be fake. I might just redesing everything and re-start my journey on here. Honestly I miss writing but I don’t miss promoting my stuff and replying to mostly bots who also want to promote their blogs or instagram pages or whatever.

During this time we have to stay connected and we have to be steady in our routines. I wish you all good health and that you can make it through those tough times.




⭐️ unpopular opinions ⭐️

hello yes i am alive, and yes i am back (at least a bit).

  • not having watched certain movies/ tv shows is not a personally trait

you haven’t watched Star Wars or Game of Thrones? Wow I’m so impressed. It’s a weird phenomenon to brag with having avoided trendy pop culture – honsetly i think it’s not special or very individual or an interesting fact which shows your personality. Maybe try to find another fact you can tell people about which is based on a more personal level.

  • the environment is mostly destroyed by big cooperations

of course out consumption plays a role and trying to live more eco friendly or earth conscious makes an impact but it’s not as big as change big factories and cooperations should be making.

  • instagram poetry is cute

even though everyone enjoys memes about “shitty” instagram poetry, but honestly i love that people express themselves creatively!! I’d rather read cute poetry and scrabbled words spilled on paper than 100 weird rants about millennials or some celebrities.

    tik tok is not cringy

there are definitely some sort of people on there, which are more weird than normal people you see everyday (from middle aged women stripping or teenage furries) but the memes and creative content outdoes the “weird” or more or less uninteresting parts of the app.

  • youtubers who only do hauls are bad youtubers

spending money for clout? good for you but well maybe you could use that privilege for something more important? creative content is always cool but if you only do hauls, i come to think that you have just a bit “too much” money. Regardless I still sometimes watch those kind of videos but in my opinion a good youtuber should have a broader palette of content than just spending money.

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things i’ve been loving recently

the weather is becoming warmer and it’s finally fun to go outside again. Following spending more time in the sunshine comes rediscovering old passions or even finding new ones. Personally I’ve been revisting some places I enjoyed being some time ago and I’ve started to enlargen my creative horizon.


I have always known Rammstein, they are the biggest band here in Germany, and they have been around since I was born basically. But I gave myself a chance to listen to their albums, watch their music videos and recorded live shows. And honestly I am a bit in love. They just published their newest album which is untitled and I even managed to see them live on stage last week. (Caution though their genre is industrial metal/ neue deutsche härte and it will definitely not be for everyone’s ears, also their videos and lyrics contain potential schock value, so….).

After falling into a hole of Rammstein- obsession I also checked out Richard Z. Kruspe’s (their guitarist) sideproject Emigrate. And it’s great. Industrial rock, metal elements, electronic sounds and famous features (Cardinal Copia of Ghost, Lemmy,….).books

Matt Haig has become one of my favourite writers. Currently I’m reading “reasons to stay alive” and beforehand I read his newest work “notes on a nervous planet” which spoke deeply to me. It’s concerning with anxiety and how the society and times we live in influence us and our behaviour and feelings. Covering social media, work environments and the general never-ending progress of us as a species – the book really it

watching youtube is so relaxing to me because i can chose who i want to see and when. My current favourite ones are Ally (she talks about mental health, self care and her cat!!) and Jenny. Jenny focusses on zero waste fashion and lifestyle and I deeply enjoy her whole aesthetic.podcasts

Podcasts are a relatively new thing I have been getting into. Since I rely on public transportation, it’s nice to have someone to listen to. At the moment I still love the Gal Pals Pod with Riley J. Dennis and Neonfiona who both talk about (queer) politics, gaming, pop culture and their life as fiancées. My more spiritual side is deeply loving the astro-hotline podcast by Tess aka astrogrlz. They make horoscopes and inform about general planetary events by still being entertaining and true.selfcare

my favourite form of selfcare is journaling (here is why). Additionally I just love to take walks and leave my phone at home because I tend to use it a bit too often… It definitely makes walks more meditative and calming for me.

Q: What are the things you’ve been loving recently?

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summer & thoughts (part one)

this week is supposed to become one if the hottest weeks to ever surface in Europe. I mean sure I’m glad i don’t have to wear three sweatshirts to feel comfortable and warm, but having to actively live during hot weather just hits different.

When i was in school hot weather consisted of buying ice cream during breaks, being allowed to leave earlier or even just chill outside because our brains were simply just mush. Those days were awesome. Being able to simply call up some friends and go to the pool without really having obligations. Today though, I know I have to take the train for about an hour long ride to get to a minimum wage job while hell will emerge all around me. You could say I’m not content with my situation. (If you didn’t know German trains nearly never have air conditioning or enough oxygen to comfortably breathe.). Nevertheless, I try to make the best out of the hot summer days, so I tried to crumble all of my ideas about what i want to do into a list. And well, I tried to make it interactive so maybe you can use it too ☀️

Summer Bucket List:

bucket list summer 2019

i designed that?? amazing.

✨ Q: What are you up to this summer? ✨

Previous Post: why I have been gone 💕

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sorry for being gone!

I haven’t written a post in such a long time, but real life has taken up a lot of time recently (shocking I know!!). Actually, I have been working and treating myself quiet a bit. But I have planned out a lot of posts which I haven’t published yet. But expect a few posts on environmental activism and self care soon ♥

Here are few things which happened while I was away:

Work, work and work: I got a real job which is part time. I sell tea in retail which is alright even though some costumers don’t really treat retail workers that well. In general, the situations I have been transported into differ a lot from what I have encountered so far. Therefore, I had to learn to adapt to them and have to remind myself not to stress over the things I can’t control.

Dutch? Yes, I am learning Dutch! Uni offers a free course which I’m taking and I definitly enjoy it especially studying vocabulary, speaking a new language and maybe even using it while visiting the Netherlands.

Getting to know myself: I have been trying to enlarge my comfort zones by doing things by myself. Today I will go to a concert mostly alone because I super spontaneously purchased a ticket (the show used to be compeletly sold out). Additionally I am still figuring out the factors which make me feel anxious and weird, so future-me can know how to deal with those feelings appropriately.

creative urges: Yeah, I write and I paint and I doodle and I sing and I cook and whatever. Pursuing my hobbies just makes me feel safe and stable – even if the last months have been different.

READING! I have been more or less just been soaking in books. Matt Haig’s “Notes on a nervous planet” is the highest recommendation from everything I absorbed into my brain in the last months.

Instagram? I ditched it. They still have all the links to this blog blocked and don’t fix the problem. I just feel like it stresses me out too much. (apparently facebook has me blocked now too).

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why i love journaling!

after a long and busy day I always liked to grab a pen and spill my thoughts on to paper. Just writing pages and pages about what has been going on or what was bothering me. When I was younger I used to start my diary entries like this: “Dear Diary…” which is kind of cute but also wildly unnecessary (every girl on tv did it like that though). Nowadays I will just start writing.

My favourite method of writing is just literally writing down what is on my mind. No fancy sentences, no connotations and no shame. I am clearing my mind by putting my wandering mind to rest by focussing on what I need to let go off. Sometimes it’s just stuff like “oh I missed the train today that sucks”, other times my entries consist of more complex issues. But you can focus on whatever you want when you get out your preferred medium to write in. Some other methods include using so-called journal prompts. Those are used to for example answer a specific question, focus on a certain area of your life and reflect on them. I used to find very good ones on tumblr and pinterest by just searching for “journal prompts

making your space cosy for journaling is a good idea

Personally I enjoy physical diaries which have thick pages and lines on them. I purchased mine at a local TK Maxx! But you can find journals everywhere. Some friends of mine prefer digital diaries which you can find plenty of on the App Store. Also if you like physical writing maybe grab a cool pen which is especially for writing into your diary, it makes a difference I swear.


Why do I journal?

  • calming down by focussing on the physical sensation of writing


  • being mindful about what happened in a specific timespan


  • doing some good old self reflection


  • focus on positive aspects of my life, like what I am grateful for at the moment


  • manifestation (here is a good video about it by the lovely Lavendaire)


  • to-do lists to stay on track


  • to not be on my phone or use social media


  • empty my loud thoughts


Journaling and Self Care

By making time for yourself in your busy schedule you can get to know yourself better which I guess is always a good idea. Regarding self care it’s important to not stress about writing in your journal every day. It’s essential to not make it an obligatory task. Another crucial act of self care is self reflection to know if you acted in the right way in certain situations. If you didn’t you will notice and be better when the next circumstance appears.

Overall journaling is a great experience and method to stay in touch with your feelings and your mind.

☁️ Q: Do you journal? And if so do you have any other tips you would like to share? ☁️

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Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with any companies mentioned.

why small changes matter

one step at a time is a simple statement which sounds easy to act upon but in reality that’s not always possible. We always try to improve ourselves and move forward, even when life feels stagnant we try to keep moving. Being stuck in a routine feels good to me, knowing when to do what and having enough freetime to mix something up. Routines can be helpful for living organised and if you’re stuck in a rut they will help you to get back on track on doing simple tasks which might have felt impossible to do before.

But regardless of creating and following your own routine small changes can make big differences. Getting up in the morning is hard for sleepy heads like me, so simply changing up my morning habits has brought me a long way in the last month. After getting up I usually just went and got breakfast but in the last month I decided that washing my face and drinking some water should happen beforehand. And it worked, the cold water on my face helped to start the day with feeling less like I had been forced to leave sleep-town but like I left voluntarily.

morning teas
morning teas

Another time in which I noticed how small changes can impact us in every quarter of our life is when I put working out onto my list of things again. Being sporty since I was a kid I got out of habit when uni took over and I did not have my beloved routine anymore. So signing up at my local gym helped me to feel better about myself, in cases if being fit again and feeling good about my body (which I thank the Gods, never really had issues with anyways). But honestly the simple step of putting running, yoga and other bodymoving activities into your life can brighten your mood somehow. It works for me at least.

Self Care wise I could advise to do a small thing for yourself daily. Something simple like drinking your favourite sort of tea or watching an episode of your favourite tv series. Those activities might seem small and not really important but in the long run you will notice that taking time for yourself and being mindful about your body and your emotions can improve how you feel. Putting your feelings into words might also be helpful method of noticing your improvements and putting the focus onto small things (if you’re interested in how i track that kind of stuff, i might write a post about it soon 😉).


writing down your thoughts can help

✨☁️ How do you make small changes? ☁️✨

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☁️ uni perspectives: rude professors ☁️

this is an article about some weird and rude encounters I or my friends had at my uni with several professors, lecturers or other working officials. This article should bring attention to how students are treated inferior and uneducated.

One time I messed up and signed up for a wrong course, things like that happen and are not really uncommon at German universities. Messing up sucks but trying to contain a positive mindset during the process is even worse. So I wrote some e-mails (like you have to do alllll the time at my uni at least) and got a really sassy and rude response from a professor I do not even know. “I get it you’re superior to me” I thought while reading it. “but do you have to underline it in every phrase you use?” Let me put my answer as simple as possible: no.

Another really weird incident happened during a lecture where the professor on stage directly made jokes about how one of his colleges is a bad teacher and that was his reason for us being “stupid”. Uhm? Hello? I was super uncomfortable since I knew that colleague and well he did do a good job in my opinion.

You are better than us.We get it. Every student knows that professors are not equal to us, it’s logical? But bragging about how other colleagues don’t do their job right on stage or replying in e-mails in a language and tone (i study literature i know how tone works) which is degrading is simply not that professional and since we’re all adults I consider it quiet rude.

Another problem I have faced is asking questions during a lecture. University should encourage curiosity and not dismiss it. Asking a question is not plain simple when about 200 other students are around. Also it’s not questioning the lecturer or whoever is in the front. It’s basically just wanting to know something in a deeper way or adding new knowledge to my brain. So why is it necessary to ridicule a student? Or turn the question into a joke about diapers? Well it simply is not. Lectures and professors make student feel stupid with that kind of behaviour, or even worse anxious about asking questions which is a basis of the educational process.

Certainly not all of my lecturers act that way, there are some which are just chill and obviously take their job very seriously,. And honestly I’m glad they exist because without them uni would be way more stressful and unenjoyable.

☁️ Have you ever encountered such events at your university? Have you felt the same way or do you think I overreacted? ☁️

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For contact or questions or business stuff write me a mail: sickocean(@)

*Disclaimer: I’m not telling you which uni I go to or which persons were involved in those incidents and I only focussed on my point of view and my feelings towards the issue.*

* i edited this post because I forgot to add the end paragraph to it lmao*

why you should speak up for yourself

“why did you do this?”

“do you think you have thought this through?”

“i think you move on too fast”

“i liked your other idea better”

all of the questions are being asked when you have made a decision you have been thinking about for an endless amount of time. other people can not stop lurking into your business and questioning your ideals and keep passing on your new path via texts to their friends and families. then it’s probably time to speak up for yourself.

Knowing that you have worked out your new plan and considered all the things that could go wrong, people not believing in you hurts. For me asking the questions above if you have not been part of my journey is rude and makes me feel like you don’t trust my decisions. Maybe it’s a personal thing.

Raising your voice to stand up for what you believe in is not always the easiest step to take, it gets even harder when it directly involves your own feelings. Towards some people there is not even a need to actually justify your new path, your new career or your new partner – they don’t need to know everything that has been going on in your life – nevertheless speaking up for yourself is necessary in some cases. It’s necessary when your boss asks why you are leaving, it’s necessary when a close friend is genuinely worried or if your partner takes a big role in your new planned future. Those are times when you have to take action:

” Don’t worry I have thought everything through over and over again for a long time”

“I don’t feel right going in the old direction anymore”

“right now change is what I need and I checked out all the possible ways I can do better”

above are classical phrases my friends have probably heard me say at least once in the time we have known each other. Furthermore you have to make sure that you can explain your situation a bit more detailed to make sure they get why you are requiring change, it’s not like you have to tell every situation which sucked – just paint them a picture. And remember not everyone will support you and not everyone will agree with you but that’s how life is. But knowing that you spoke up for yourself will make every day easier. You will know who supports you even when change is unavoidable and you will be sure who to talk to when you’re planning out another new direction in which your life is heading.


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winter survival tips

it’s cold, it’s snowy, public transport is always late. That’s winter.

In winter I always feel like I should be sleeping like hibernation, you know? But however humans don’t hibernate. Soooo I decided that well I have to stay awake and maybe should even actually take action to make winter less annoying. Here are some of my tips to survive the dark half of the year.

  • try to keep a routine!

even though it’s nearl dark all the time, you should stick a routine like getting up at a decent time and try to manage living. For me it’s getting uup around 8am, making breakfast, drinking juice etc.

  • vitamin d

since the sun is not shining as often as we and our bodies are used to, a lack of vitamin d can happen. A lack of that vitamin leads to feeling sleepy, worn out, your hair falls out and you can’t sleep well. Therefore I recommend getting some cool vitamin d pills at your local grocery store (at least where I live you can get them at some stores which are not the pharmacy).

  • absorb light

like plants we also need light. Using so called “SAD” (seasonal affective disorder) -lamps might be a great idea to wake your body up when it’s dark outside. I purchased this one on amazon and for me it works. I turn it on while eating breakfast and I noticed that my mood got much better.

  • self care

since winter is also exam season some of us struggle with feeling overwhelmed. Try to make time for self care and catching up with friends and family. Find some ideas on my older post about creating a self care day.

  • don’t isolate yourself!!

very important for getting through rough and cold times is to make the best out of them. Don’t spend all your time locked inside: instead take a walk and get some fresh air, meet friends at the cinema or go ice skating.


I would love to hear your ideas!


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