we all get bummed out sometimes but the feeling when the to-do lists stay unfinished, getting up turns to : “please just five more minutes”, and catching oneself stumbling through a never ending spiral of chores is way more damaging than just being unmotivated.
It’s when motivation is not enough anymore.
It’s when lying in bed and trying to catch sleep gets harder because your brain won’t shut up.
It’s when you know there is more stuff to be done which you don’t even really care about.
I never thought in my life that I would be unhappy because of work. You have to know, I deeply enjoy learning new things and engaging with and discussing about them but I reached the point where all of the readings and exercises don’t really bring me any joy anymore. It makes me feel stuck knowing that everything of which my uni timetable exists is not worth anything in the future job I’m taking the classes for. The problem: all of them are mandatory and not interchangeable. I’m stuck and I’m stressed about it.
But I won’t stop trying to find a solution and I won’t bend down for a system which clearly does not work. And being stressed is unhealthy for the body and for the soul. It takes away your freedom and it tenses your muscles so that moving even becomes painful.
Basically, stress fucking sucks.